“All the ooze that fit to print”

 
 
 

Hot for Teacher February 27, 2008

Filed under: cummentary — Moses @ 6:03 pm


Every time I read about a female teacher in trouble for statutory rape, I think the same thing, “LUCKY BASTARD!”

CO-ed magazinehas compiled a list of the “Hottest Sex Offenders.”

 
 

“Cocks as Props” February 20, 2008

Filed under: cocks,cummentary,sex ponder,video — Moses @ 9:29 pm

In the HJ or BJ niche, the cock is just a prop.So the cock casting is critical, IMHO.

Don’t let his flab, body hair, or lackluster erection detract from her glorious performance.

Fit, groomed, with a good looking cock that stays viagra-hard.

In most circumstances, his hands should stay to himself and his voice should not be heard at all.

Nothing personal. It’s just how I’m wired, okay?

TheDickSuckers.com understands me.

For example, in this adriana nicole’s scene. While she is playing with herself, she says, “I think you and I both know this isn’t why we’re here.”

And then she is given a faceless cock and center stage.

Where she proceeds to rock that cock like a gloriously depraved, sexual artist.

The guy has to tell her to stop several times cause he is too close to cumming.

That’s hot. I’d much rather have a guy be too turned on and have to stop…than a not-quite-hard dick that ends with a frantic jerk-to-pop.

Amen.

 
 

SUPERHEROES UNITE! February 17, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,video — Moses @ 10:28 pm

God bless the sexual superheroes! In this kickass video from the AVN show floor, XFANZ asks a bunch of starlets if they are superheroes or supervillians.

 
 

Me and My Momo February 12, 2008

Filed under: behind the scenes,cummentary,DCypher — DCypher @ 5:04 pm

Tattoo's rule!Believe it or not tattoo’s hurt a little…which is prolly why we’re so quick to brag about them once they’re finished. Obviously some places hurt more than others…like the inside of your wrists or say your anus.

Nevermind. Scratch that.

Anyway, here’s another photo from AEE I just got around to posting. It’s Momo aka Monique Alexander from Vivid Video putting her tattoo up to mine.

Damn! Even her tattoo is pretty. Lol.

 
 

Introducing Andy San Dimas February 7, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,DCypher,pornstars — DCypher @ 3:33 pm

Tasty Andy San DimasAhhhh… sweet young Andy San Dimas *(highschoolfootballrulez!!!)

I met her at AEE ’08 and immediately fell in love with the texture of her gleaming soft skin. I swear it has this milky glow that emits a constant wave of silky pheremone goodness…mmmmmm. Delightful.

I know I am supposed to remain objective or at least heavily jaded after this decade of decadence and the toll it has taken, but I think I sorta fell in fakie love with her…maybe?

Jewgoddaproblumwidatchk?!!

Besides, what’s not to love about a gorgeous young girl with perfect porcelain skin covered in punky tattoos who took her porn moniker from BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE?

She was signing for those plucky devils over at Vivid Alt. Yippie! During the FLESHBOT sponsored Friday night party Andy kicked it with me and the kinda obnoxious guy from Last Night’s Parties, who wouldn’t stomp his feet on the furniture when I requested it and scream “FUCK YO COUCH!” Some people just have no sense of humor.

While we were chilling at the party she surfed XPEEPS on her kick and we watched porn. Amazing. Sitting with a porn star at a porn party for a porn release while surfing the web for more porn.

Wait, let me say it one more time; PORN.

Yeah, any way, she’s hot, so you’re GD right I sat there and listened.

I snapped this pic of her walking around in panties the first day of the show. She’s always wanted the kind of job where it would be acceptable to walk around in women’s underwear all day long, preferably full bottom panties, because let’s face it, while they look amazing thongs are just downright uncomfortable. It would seem AEE ’08 was just an extension of a young (formerly gothic) girls amazing dream.

Check out these helpful links for more of the inchoate star on the rise…then look up the word inchoate, suckapunch!!!

http://fleshbot.com/342003/andy-san-dimas-puts-a-smile-on-our-face

http://www.kink.com/php/modelt/index.php?id=14476&action=show

http://www.swollenskateboards.com/girls/andy/http://vividalt.com/home.php

http://www.lastnightsparty.com/pages/53-andy-san-dimas.html

 
 

In case bartending school doesn’t work out… February 4, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,industry news — Moses @ 6:00 pm

Having trouble finding partners who will let you face fuck them till they vomit or stuff household items up their ass?

Longing to feel your cock against another man’s cock as you do DP?

Feeling left out ’cause all the cool kids have Herpes?

Well, this DVD is for YOU!

www.breakingintoporn.com

 
 

Never Forget! January 31, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,DCypher — DCypher @ 9:49 am

All That We Say & Do Is RightThis post has nothing to do with porn, but everything to do with the outlaw spirit of porn so many of us embrace and hold sacred…so there!

One year ago today the media and the Boston Police Department turned a promotional gag for Aqua Teen Hunger Force into a Media Borne Event, terrorizing innocent people nationwide with the false fear of bearded terrorists lurking in the shadows waiting to strike out at our civilian population. How did they accomplish this Herculean task? By bringing in the Bomb Squad to blow up light bright sets on FOX News.

Ironically enough the whole scenario seems like something from an episode of ATHF featuring the Mooninites. Ahhh…good times. All that was missing was (former) Presidential candidate Rudy 9ui11ani promising us that everything was going to be okay and Bill Clinton roaming the streets hugging people.

The FOX News quotes are just plain hilarious. Listen to them closely.

 
 

The “real” Casandra Cruz January 29, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,TrampStampStudios — Moses @ 10:30 am

Even though I’m still bitter about the crumbled facade of “real ex girlfriends, I was stoked to see Casandra Cruz featured as an “Ex.”

I had the pleasure of meeting Casandra Cruz when she worked with Hal & Tramp Stamp Studios to do some promo at a recent Trade Show in LA. She was super nice and extremely sexy…but until now I had not seen her perform.

So the pain of finding out there is no Santa Claus these were not “real” ex girlfriends was worth the pleasure of seeing Cassandra do her thang.

tramp stamp cassandra

 
 

“Real” January 28, 2008

Filed under: cummentary,video — Moses @ 12:54 pm

While I was checking out the members area of RealExGirlFriends.com, I saw some familiar porn faces and it immediately killed the fantasy for me.


I gotta hand it to the genius who thought, “How can I make a porn site when I don’t have a very good video camera or knowledge about proper lighting techniques? I know! I’ll sell it as ‘real’ home videos!!!”

Don’t get me wrong, they are HOT girls and I love watching them perform meat tube tricks, but I’m not a fan of the whole “Let’s see how stupid the consumer is” game.

Genius marketing? Perhaps…but I’m not buying it. I’ll stick to those truly REAL pickups in that crazy ol’ bang bus.

 
 

Rosebuds and pink socks January 24, 2008

Filed under: cummentary — Moses @ 9:27 am

Sometimes there is a vibe in the air. They call it the zeitgeist. It is the reason why 2 people often come up with the same discovery at the same time in vastly different places.

Well, UNFORTUNATELY, the last 24 hours have had a vibe in the air that could best be described as “disturbing.”

From 3 different sources, in 3 different ways, I have been introduced to the idea of “pink socks.”

At first I was like, “Cool! I wonder what this is all about. I like pink stuff. Not as much as Hal, but I do dig pink in all it’s forms.”

Well, all but one.

From UrbanDictionary.com:

“After anal penetration when the males member or device is removed from the anus the inner anal passageway folds out surrounding the extracted shaft and exposing the inner side of the anus. The pink socks appear’s like folds of pink skin hangin out of the asshole. It slightly resembales a pink sock hangin out of the asshole”

WTF?

Just a silly joke term, you say? Well, then someone else sent me a link to this gallery of (what I now know to be) “pink socks.”

What. The. FUCK!?

And, while not launched yet, word is that Porno Dan has plans to launch “PinkSockClub.com” soon.

I *hope* the zietgeist winds of this trend flow right on by. I pity the poor woman who’se husband sees this shit and says,”Honey, c’mere! I wanna try something…”

***

I’m gonna post some good ol’ vanilla sex clips in a sec and try to cleanse my fragile mind.

 
 
 
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